They chose to tell you. What you say in the next five minutes matters, and so does what you do afterward.
A coworker pulls you aside, or sends a message late at night, and tells you someone at work is harassing them. Most people in that spot want to help and are afraid of making it worse. This is a plain guide to what helps: how to listen, what not to say, what you can do without taking over, and what to do if you saw it happen yourself.
People who are being harassed at work often tell nobody for a long time. They worry they will not be believed, that it will cost them their job, or that it will follow them around the office. When someone finally tells a coworker, it is usually because they trust that person more than they trust the system. That is worth taking seriously.
You do not need to fix it. You do not need to know the law. You need to be someone it was safe to tell.
A few short sentences do most of the work:
Then listen. Let them say it at their own pace. If they stop, you do not need to fill the silence.
| Skip this | Why |
|---|---|
| “Are you sure that's what he meant?” | It tells them you are already doubting them. |
| “Why didn't you say something sooner?” | Waiting is normal, and the question sounds like blame. |
| “She's like that with everyone.” | That makes it worse, not better. |
| “I'm going to go talk to him.” | Confronting the person yourself can put them at more risk and take the decision out of their hands. |
| Telling other coworkers | It is their story. Gossip travels, and it usually reaches the wrong person first. |
Once they have said what they need to say, offer specific, practical help, and let them choose:
Things are different if you manage this person or have any supervisory role. Many employers require supervisors to report harassment they learn about, even when asked not to. Be honest about that before they go into detail, so they can decide what to tell you. Then follow your employer's policy and keep a written record of what you reported and when.
If you are a coworker and not a supervisor, respect that as far as you can. Going around someone who asked you not to can feel like one more person taking control away from them. You can say you will keep it between you, while letting them know you will help whenever they are ready.
The exception is safety. If they have been assaulted, threatened, or you believe they are in danger, tell them you are worried and that safety comes first. If someone is in immediate danger, call 911.
A witness can matter a lot, because so much harassment happens with no one else around. If you saw or heard something:
Federal law prohibits retaliation against people who report harassment, oppose it, or take part in an investigation, and that includes coworkers who speak up. If your schedule, assignments, or treatment change after you get involved, write down what changed and when. Our article on retaliation after reporting harassment covers what tends to count.
Hearing about someone else's harassment can also stir things up, especially if something similar has happened to you. It is okay to need support of your own.
If your coworker wants to understand their options outside the company, the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC) and the Texas Workforce Commission both take questions directly. There are deadlines for filing a charge, and our article on what happens when you file a harassment charge explains the process. Asking early costs nothing.
If someone was sexually assaulted, RAINN's National Sexual Assault Hotline is 800-656-4673, free and confidential, 24/7. If someone is in mental health crisis or thinking about suicide, call or text 988. If anyone is in immediate danger, call 911.
All4Aries helps people dealing with sexual harassment at work, and at most we provide resources. Our Harassment Support page says plainly what we can and cannot do. We run on donations; if this article helped, you can give here. All4Aries is not a law firm and this article is not legal advice.
Start with something simple: thank you for telling me, I believe you, and this is not your fault. Then ask what they want to do, rather than telling them what to do. Listening without judging is the most useful thing in the first conversation.
Respect their choice where you can, but be honest about your own position. If you are a supervisor or manager, your employer's policy may require you to report what you learn, so tell them that before they share details. If someone is in danger, safety comes first.
Write down what you saw, when, where, and who else was there, as soon as you can, and keep it somewhere that is not a work account. Ask the person whether they want you to be a witness. A written account from someone who saw it can matter a great deal.
Federal law prohibits retaliation against people who report harassment, oppose it, or take part in an investigation. That protection is not only for the person harassed. If you notice changes in how you are treated afterward, write them down with dates.
The EEOC and the Texas Workforce Commission take questions directly. If what happened was sexual assault, RAINN's National Sexual Assault Hotline is 800-656-4673. For a mental health crisis, call or text 988.
Published October 19, 2026 by All4Aries, a 501(c)(3) nonprofit based in Austin, Texas. This article is general information, not legal, medical, or financial advice.
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